On Aging . . .

The first time it happened I found myself in shock and disbelief. Some twenty years ago in Dallas, I was getting off work at about 9PM and since dinner had been skipped, I decided to drop by a local fast food place on the way home. I looked at the menu board and chose a $4.99 meal to take home. The high-school age girl wrote it down, put it on the spinner ring and turned it to the kitchen area where it was picked up. About five minutes later it was filled and put on the counter in front of me. Then the girl said, “That will be $4.60.” I already had a five out and just wanted to know how much more the tax would be. I said, “”What?”

“Well, that’s with the tax,” She said.

“But the price is $4.99 plus the tax.”

Then she hit me smack between the eyes with something that I had dreaded all my life, “Oh, I gave you the senior citizens discount.”

That, I must say, caught me by surprise. But, since it was going to cost me less, I just thanked the girl, paid for my order, picked it up and started to leave. Just as I got to the door I did something that should never have been done. I make it a rule for myself to never ask a question to which I really don’t want the answer. But, I turned and asked, “How old do you have to be to qualify for the senior citizen’s discount?” As soon as the last word escaped my tongue I wished the question had been unasked, and in short time I certainly wished it had been unanswered.

“Sixty.” Was her quick return.

I went directly home, examined my forty six-year-old face and decided it was just that the young girl thought that everyone more than thirty was a senior citizen . . . until it happened again and then, again. I’ve always looked older than I really was but now I looked like a “Codger."

There are lots of benefits to being a “Codger,” discounts at the grocery store on certain days, discounts at various fast food places, and even on gas at some stations, but . . . I’ve never been asked to prove my eligibility for these discounts. They just look at me and I am sure in their mind they say, “Hey, no problem here.”

Now, to the perils . . . about two years ago, three of my friends and I were standing around talking when another friend walked up and asked one if he would like to go to the Eagles Club later. With an affirmative answer he went to the next, then around me to the last. With three affirmative answers he left our little group without acknowledging me. Later, I approached him and explained to him that I did not understand why I was skipped.

“I thought we were friends,” I said, “Have I done something to make you mad?”

I couldn’t have gone that night anyway but, I wasn’t even asked!

“Because of your age,” He explained, “You might not feel comfortable with the younger crowd.”

“I might be getting older, but I damn well refuse to grow up.” Was my retort. And the next time I was invited and we all had a great time.

One of the worst moments of being a “Codger” is the first time you are called “Sir” by a young girl. Recently, I’ve noticed that those “Girls” have become young ladies. I fear the day the “Ladies” become “Women” or worse “Middle aged.”

The biggest peril is in not being able to laugh at your age, and getting others to ignore it. Being a “Codger” is not all that bad, I love its benefits, but it has its perils. I’ll never forget the look on my mothers face the day I got my membership card in the AARP. I’m sure she scrambled into the bathroom to peer into the mirror. I’m also sure someday I’ll do the same thing.


FAR BETTER PLACE

As has been said about so many
And will be for ourselves I’m sure.
She’s in a far better place now
Than she’s ever been before.

We go through life a struttin’
Proud of what we’ve done.
Now here we are a strugglin’
With no place to hide or run.

Our bodies started falling apart
Oh, a long time ago.
At first we thought it would go away
We’d just have to take it slow.

Now we realize t’was the start of a process
Of which we’d only read.
Too bad at the other end
We only end up dead.

But you have to stop and cogitate
And let your mind revive.
You could get old, forgetful, and feeble
And still remain alive.

So don’t wish for yourself or others
A life so very long.
Unless you wish also for
A mind that’ll remain strong.